Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

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Man in Space
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Man in Space »

Yeah, I'd love to do another one.

I should mention, the Tim Ar had no concept of the Buddha (or the Bodhi), so they were replaced with the nearest cultural equivalent I could think of, the Bôm Ikkeb. "Hanráiúmi", however, was a borrowing.
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Rounin Ryuuji
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

Man in Space wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 4:15 pm Yeah, I'd love to do another one.
Sounds fun.
I should mention, the Tim Ar had no concept of the Buddha (or the Bodhi), so they were replaced with the nearest cultural equivalent I could think of, the Bôm Ikkeb. "Hanráiúmi", however, was a borrowing.
I imagine most didn't; the culture attached to language I used (now actually called Imishimé, and having been revised and further developed) didn't have anything remotely approaching an equivalent figure.
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Vilike
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Vilike »

A bit embarrassed that no native speaker of English went after my torch to 'clear up' that somewhat stiff translation.
A new relay would be grand!


I thought the original text had to do with The Wizard of Oz, I really thought I recognised phonetically adapted forms of 'Dorothy (from) Kansas' and 'Munchkin'

Dyelog text:
More: show
Sho ten towho. Eu komoleh Tanati Keyanuta. Ê whonna sho nuse kenda hihera azda es onuk. Hulûnyimû kenyinî woilot ga del nakra. Keng sô saga kenyina tuka, sondo molo. Lyâkohen yaskeleh shutyah tûshteh, mi ê whonna sho hen mihit mi luruk. Ze, sho hilîka taut êk. Lyâgimû taut ohtas shi, têk shot hilîka êk.

Ê sô shom Munikin gînama daga gotyeshola nustasihtet. Ê lesô shom ela, mudrogileh eula, yeshulena es onuk tûshteh. Shûsha wha lesâhes sa shulandogila onuk dyela domageh. Lesâhes whila lelandishta hûratyônet, mi ohtak eula dyela domageh. Eu yurulet shot ê whileso, shi hul tûshteh. Shityek lesâr eula nadyish lishkonek e kosha kulilet.
Yaa unák thual na !
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by bradrn »

Man in Space wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 10:29 am How it started:
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard wrote:"Hello, my name is Han-Tyumi. I am a cyborg. Born, if you may call it that, in a world that is dense and black. Created without a desire to draw breath, without a desire to have being, with out a yearning just to be. I'd like my desire back, my life back, my soul back, my humanity. Oh, how I long for it. For an era I have meditated, like the primordial Buddha beneath the Bodhi. My pseudo-mind pseudo-wandered. I climbed and I clambered, and I ambled upon some understanding, the gold beneath the virtual rainbow.

I am bereft of two human things, two things that a cyborg can never do, two things I strive for, two things between myself and mankind: Death, and to vomit."
How it ended:
Tanati Keyanuta wrote:Wish for you to be happy. My name is Tanati Keyanuta. I wanted that your eyes saw me as a human. I fell for a long time from that black hole in the sky. You never heard about that hole, sure thing. I can only go everywhere, but I wanted to be alive and breathing. Alas, would that I went home again. I went home once then, I must be able to go again.

I heard that Munikin stood in the shadow of that rainbow-coloured tree. I thought that he, with my help, will be able to become a human. While the thoughts of becoming human are talking coherently. Their thoughts are being muted noisily, and these of mine are talking coherently. I may decide to think about them, but I am not able to. Because my thought hurt many randomly into death.
Amazing! The first half of the text seems to make it through relatively unscathed, but the second seems to have degenerated into rambling crackpottery. I guess we all need to make our conlangs better at philosophy…

On my side, I see that my biggest mistake was consistently forgetting to translate active participles properly (even though I glossed them all correctly!), instead turning them into paratactic sequences of clauses. I also chose the wrong meaning for selu (‘soul’ when it should have been ‘effort’), and couldn’t translate the names properly. And despite everything, I still have no idea what eška means!
Zju wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 2:29 pm I had lots of fun doing my round and reading the results. Anybody up for a new relay next year?
Yes please! (And now that I actually have a usable language, we shouldn’t be stuck waiting for me for two months like last time!)
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Emily
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Emily »

bradrn wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 6:42 pm Amazing! The first half of the text seems to make it through relatively unscathed, but the second seems to have degenerated into rambling crackpottery. I guess we all need to make our conlangs better at philosophy…
or maybe we all just need to get better at correctly interpreting dependent clauses and indirect speech lol, that's where most of my mistakes were
Zju wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 2:29 pm I had lots of fun doing my round and reading the results. Anybody up for a new relay next year?
i'm totally down! not sure i have the capacity to organize the whole thing but i'd kinda like to do the first round if that's ok, since i have a (imo) good starter text in mind
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

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Emily wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 1:55 am
bradrn wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 6:42 pm Amazing! The first half of the text seems to make it through relatively unscathed, but the second seems to have degenerated into rambling crackpottery. I guess we all need to make our conlangs better at philosophy…
or maybe we all just need to get better at correctly interpreting dependent clauses and indirect speech lol, that's where most of my mistakes were
Yep, I can certainly see where that came from… for the most part; I have no idea where you got that stuff about free will and thoughts being obliterated. The result is certainly much more poetic, though. All part of the fun!

That being said, I’m unhappy with the high quality of your translation in the first half. I think I made it much too easy by using a nice, logical isolating language. Maybe I’ll use Wēchizaŋkəŋ next time — I’m sure people here will be able to segment, say, thēchepkɨ into |əʷ-tha-kiep-kɨ|… right?
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Rounin Ryuuji
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 2:22 am That being said, I’m unhappy with the high quality of your translation in the first half. I think I made it much too easy by using a nice, logical isolating language. Maybe I’ll use Wēchizaŋkəŋ next time — I’m sure people here will be able to segment, say, thēchepkɨ into |əʷ-tha-kiep-kɨ|… right?
Maybe with a thorough enough explanation of the underlying phonological processes and their significance. Assuming the pronunciation is actually [θeːtʃepkɨ], I could see that being a surface realisation of [θakjepkɨ] under certain circumstances, though the "əʷ" part is rather mysterious in its disappearance.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by bradrn »

Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 8:22 am
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 2:22 am That being said, I’m unhappy with the high quality of your translation in the first half. I think I made it much too easy by using a nice, logical isolating language. Maybe I’ll use Wēchizaŋkəŋ next time — I’m sure people here will be able to segment, say, thēchepkɨ into |əʷ-tha-kiep-kɨ|… right?
Maybe with a thorough enough explanation of the underlying phonological processes and their significance. Assuming the pronunciation is actually [θeːtʃepkɨ], I could see that being a surface realisation of [θakjepkɨ] under certain circumstances, though the "əʷ" part is rather mysterious in its disappearance.
[ɹeːɰepkɨ], actually. It’s all explained in my scratchpad. Syncope accounts for the mysterious disappearance of half the vowels.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

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bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 4:46 pm [ɹeːɰepkɨ], actually. It’s all explained in my scratchpad. Syncope accounts for the mysterious disappearance of half the vowels.
It makes me feel like, if I end up before you next time, I should give you a text with no Romanisation at all.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

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Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:24 pm
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 4:46 pm [ɹeːɰepkɨ], actually. It’s all explained in my scratchpad. Syncope accounts for the mysterious disappearance of half the vowels.
It makes me feel like, if I end up before you next time, I should give you a text with no Romanisation at all.
Now that would just be nasty…
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:48 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:24 pm
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 4:46 pm [ɹeːɰepkɨ], actually. It’s all explained in my scratchpad. Syncope accounts for the mysterious disappearance of half the vowels.
It makes me feel like, if I end up before you next time, I should give you a text with no Romanisation at all.
Now that would just be nasty…
It looks like Moose-Tache already did it.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by bradrn »

Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 6:10 pm
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:48 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:24 pm
It makes me feel like, if I end up before you next time, I should give you a text with no Romanisation at all.
Now that would just be nasty…
It looks like Moose-Tache already did it.
They at least provided a romanisation when they sent the torch over to me. But the grammar was entirely in Cyrillic! (The dictionary, however, was wholly romanised…)
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 11:57 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 6:10 pm
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:48 pm

Now that would just be nasty…
It looks like Moose-Tache already did it.
They at least provided a romanisation when they sent the torch over to me. But the grammar was entirely in Cyrillic! (The dictionary, however, was wholly romanised…)
I at least provided notes that were entirely in English.

And the whole verb conjugation table, which is extensive.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by bradrn »

Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 8:32 am
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 11:57 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 6:10 pm
It looks like Moose-Tache already did it.
They at least provided a romanisation when they sent the torch over to me. But the grammar was entirely in Cyrillic! (The dictionary, however, was wholly romanised…)
I at least provided notes that were entirely in English.
Well, yes, so did she. (And very good notes they were too!) But all the sentences in the grammar were in Cyrillic.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

bradrn wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 5:44 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 8:32 am
bradrn wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 11:57 pm

They at least provided a romanisation when they sent the torch over to me. But the grammar was entirely in Cyrillic! (The dictionary, however, was wholly romanised…)
I at least provided notes that were entirely in English.
Well, yes, so did she. (And very good notes they were too!) But all the sentences in the grammar were in Cyrillic.
Oh, I misread that as the grammar being all in the language you were meant to be translating.
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

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Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 6:03 pm
bradrn wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 5:44 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 8:32 am
I at least provided notes that were entirely in English.
Well, yes, so did she. (And very good notes they were too!) But all the sentences in the grammar were in Cyrillic.
Oh, I misread that as the grammar being all in the language you were meant to be translating.
That would just make it impossible!
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Re: Anyone up for a good old-fashioned translation relay? RESULTS POSTED

Post by Rounin Ryuuji »

bradrn wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 6:27 pm
Rounin Ryuuji wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 6:03 pm
bradrn wrote: Mon Nov 28, 2022 5:44 pm

Well, yes, so did she. (And very good notes they were too!) But all the sentences in the grammar were in Cyrillic.
Oh, I misread that as the grammar being all in the language you were meant to be translating.
That would just make it impossible!
Not if she gave you all the vocabulary.
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