British Politics Guide
Re: British Politics Guide
Okay I have to admit he does have a ridiculous voice.
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: British Politics Guide
Boris's latest wheeze, according to theSunday Times: Scrap HS2 and build a Bridge to Ireland!!!
Self-referential signatures are for people too boring to come up with more interesting alternatives.
Re: British Politics Guide
A few updates on the ongoing Tory Party Conference:
- The former foreign secretary, who has indeed labelled the PM's Brexit plan a "deranged" "moral humiliation" and has proposed instead building a bridge across the Irish Sea (with the argument, "why not?"), has now resorted to outright trolling: inviting reporters to watch him running through a field of what he thought was wheat.
- The current foreign secretary has compared the EU to the Soviet Union, and the Brexit process to the killings of dissidents who tried to cross the Iron Curtain, warning that the EU is becoming "a prison". This has reportedly outraged eastern european countries, who until now were the only EU countries even slightly supportive of us.
- Jacob Rees-Mogg, who would probably like to be the future foreign secretary, has labelled an African country "the people's republic of jam jar or something"
- the private details (addresses, personal phone numbers, etc) of all or most of the cabinet have been leaked by the Tory Party. They set up a website allowing attendees to log on and change their profiles... but let them log on merely by typing in their e-mail address, with no requirement for a correct password. Needless, to say, people immediately logged on, stole minister's data and changed their profile pictures satirically. In unrelated news, the Party continues to push for unencrypted backdoors into all software, a national register of pornography users and unprecedented powers of surveillance and data-collection, arguing that our private details are absolutely safe with them, or will be as soon as they've discovered what a password is.
- a senior official sent a blistering, obscenity-filled tirade about this failure by e-mail, which we know about because it was accidentally e-mailed to journalists as well as its intended recipient.
- all messages behind the speakers will be projected this year, because the government doesn't trust itself to be able to stick things to walls anymore, following previous debacles. Whether they should trust themselves to be able to operate a projector is as yet unclear.
- polls suggest the Tories are now comfortably ahead of Labour again.
- The former foreign secretary, who has indeed labelled the PM's Brexit plan a "deranged" "moral humiliation" and has proposed instead building a bridge across the Irish Sea (with the argument, "why not?"), has now resorted to outright trolling: inviting reporters to watch him running through a field of what he thought was wheat.
- The current foreign secretary has compared the EU to the Soviet Union, and the Brexit process to the killings of dissidents who tried to cross the Iron Curtain, warning that the EU is becoming "a prison". This has reportedly outraged eastern european countries, who until now were the only EU countries even slightly supportive of us.
- Jacob Rees-Mogg, who would probably like to be the future foreign secretary, has labelled an African country "the people's republic of jam jar or something"
- the private details (addresses, personal phone numbers, etc) of all or most of the cabinet have been leaked by the Tory Party. They set up a website allowing attendees to log on and change their profiles... but let them log on merely by typing in their e-mail address, with no requirement for a correct password. Needless, to say, people immediately logged on, stole minister's data and changed their profile pictures satirically. In unrelated news, the Party continues to push for unencrypted backdoors into all software, a national register of pornography users and unprecedented powers of surveillance and data-collection, arguing that our private details are absolutely safe with them, or will be as soon as they've discovered what a password is.
- a senior official sent a blistering, obscenity-filled tirade about this failure by e-mail, which we know about because it was accidentally e-mailed to journalists as well as its intended recipient.
- all messages behind the speakers will be projected this year, because the government doesn't trust itself to be able to stick things to walls anymore, following previous debacles. Whether they should trust themselves to be able to operate a projector is as yet unclear.
- polls suggest the Tories are now comfortably ahead of Labour again.
Re: British Politics Guide
...what the fuck
ìtsanso, God In The Mountain, may our names inspire the deepest feelings of fear in urkos and all his ilk, for we have saved another man from his lies! I welcome back to the feast hall kal, who will never gamble again! May the eleven gods bless him!
kårroť
kårroť
Re: British Politics Guide
To be fair, polls that are published now were probably taken before or early during the Tory Conference, but after the Labour Conference, which had its own share of chaos about supporting or not supporting a second Brexit referendum in which remaining in the EU should or shouldn't be an option. When both parties' conferences are perceived as disasters, polls taken between the conferences are likely to produce better results for the party that holds its conference last than polls taken at any other time.
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KathTheDragon
- Posts: 780
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2018 3:57 am
- Location: Disunited Kingdom
Re: British Politics Guide
I can't believe this is real life.
Re: British Politics Guide
LB: sorry, don't have one. I've only heard that journalists had received the message - I've not seen anyone quoting it verbatim. Except that a "Whitehall source" has described the situation as "fucking ridiculous".
But if you want some leaked obscenity, we can all take a moment to remember Sir Richard Mottram's pithy summation of the 'burying bad news' crisis in 2001 (as Permanent Secretary to the Department for the Environment, Transport and the Regions; an official at the department had rejoiced over September 11th, characterising the attacks as a 'good day to bury bad news'; this was then leaked; and then an e-mail telling people to stop burying bad news now because it wasn't working was also leaked):
We're all fucked. I'm fucked. You're fucked. The whole department is fucked. It's the biggest cock-up ever. We're all completely fucked.
Meanwhile, another thing happened at the conference: a representative of chinese state media slapped a tory in the face. Hopefully this does not mean China have challenged us to a duel...
Relatedly: who will be the next Tory leader?
Johnson is back to the top of the bookies' lists - indeed, he's overtaken Corbyn as favourite to be the next PM - and although he's returned to popularity with the membership (he's way out in front in the polls down by conservativehome.com), this just demonstrates that bookies don't understand politics. Johnson's problem is that while he probably has plurality support among members, he probably doesn't have majority support, and, more urgently, MPs have consistently been making clear that there's no way he's going to be given the chance.
Reminder: Tory MPs vote on candidates in rounds, the loser of each round dropping out, until only two candidates remain, at which point the party membership votes for one of the two. So an MP needs more than a third of MPs to be sure of reaching the final ballot (though can make do with fewer in some circumstances, particularly where someone else has overwhelming support).
So who are the likely candidates?
JRM - similar position to Johnson. Might well win the final ballot, but currently doesn't look like getting there. He has too much baggage - his views on abortion, for instance - for MPs to risk him as leader unless there's no other option.
Michael Gove - nobody likes him, but if you want a prominent Leaver who is less divisive than BJ or JRM, Gove is the obvious candidate.
David Davis - if the brexiteers can't stomach Gove, Davis is next on the list. However, he was higher on the list, but he's been pretty awful as Brexit Secretary and I don't think he's impressed anyone or made friends. Maybe an emergency Brexit PM if May somehow loses her position before March?
Sajid Javid - has emerged as the consensus candidate of the people who AREN'T hardline brexiteers. He voted Remain, but hasn't been objectionable about it. He's young, and stays out of the spotlight, so would feel like a fresh change. It would certainly help the Party's image, given its problems with Islamophobia, to have a leader like Javid. He's also softened policy on immigration, and he could definitely hammer Labour on anti-Semitism - he's threatened to shut down any cultural institutions that attempted to boycott Israel, he's called for research into why Muslims rape children so much, and he's said that the moral burden of combating terrorism worldwide falls "uniquely" on Muslisms. He's also expanded stop-and-search, and defended the rights of extremists to harass women at abortion clinics; but he's introduced medicinal cannabis and apologised for the persecution of gay people by the police. He's a frequent speaker at the American Enterprise Institute, and is a big fan of Dick Cheney, but his two greatest heroes are Thatcher and Ayn Rand. A former banker, he's regarded as the most right-wing member of cabinet by traditional definitions, although by the current, Brexit-and-nationalism-dominated scale, he's a moderate. He's not messed up being Home Secretary, even though it's traditionally an impossible job.
Amber Rudd - as Javid's star has risen, hers has fallen, having been forced out as Home Secretary over Windrush. She also has a tiny majority, so choosing her would be a big risk. However, she's apparently actively campaigning, and presumably hasn't lost all the goodwill she once had.
Dominic Raab - nobody knows much about him, but he seems fairly solid, and as Brexit Secretary he'll be in the news a fair bit. If he does 'well' (i.e. looks firm), he might be able to overtake Gove and Davis as the sensible Brexiteer candidate, but at the moment he doesn't have enough profile.
Penny Mordaunt - former George W Bush official (Head of Foreign Press for both his presidential campaigns). Ideal CV: after her mother died and her father was diagnosed with cancer, she had to work as a magician's assistant to get money to care for her brother while still attending school. She's named after a frigate, and is herself in the Navy Reserves - her colleagues once made her give a speech on poultry welfare so that she'd have to repeatedly say 'cock' a lot in Parliament. Has nice hair. Wants the NHS to reorient toward offering more homeopathy. Very strong Leaver, but hasn't challenged the PM much since. Like Raab, she offers a very viable, sensible Brexiteer candidacy, and she's reportedly campaigning the hardest for the job behnd the scenes at the moment, but her profile is currently quite low (though, as a young woman, she'll be able to grab the spotlight much more easily than Raab could).
Jeremy Hunt - another homeopath. Manners of a drunk serpent and survival ability of a cockroach. Has no friends and is rubbish at everything, but apparently might be Prime Minister now because he has a name people recognise and he's somehow not managed to get sacked. He's not a frontrunner, but he'll be in the race if the people ahead of him cock up.
Ruth Davidson, the Scottish Conservative leader, who is actually popular, has ruled herself out because a) she's ineligible as she's not an MP, b) she has mental health problems that the position would exacerbate, and c) she doesn't want the job because it's a terrible job.
But if you want some leaked obscenity, we can all take a moment to remember Sir Richard Mottram's pithy summation of the 'burying bad news' crisis in 2001 (as Permanent Secretary to the Department for the Environment, Transport and the Regions; an official at the department had rejoiced over September 11th, characterising the attacks as a 'good day to bury bad news'; this was then leaked; and then an e-mail telling people to stop burying bad news now because it wasn't working was also leaked):
We're all fucked. I'm fucked. You're fucked. The whole department is fucked. It's the biggest cock-up ever. We're all completely fucked.
Meanwhile, another thing happened at the conference: a representative of chinese state media slapped a tory in the face. Hopefully this does not mean China have challenged us to a duel...
Relatedly: who will be the next Tory leader?
Johnson is back to the top of the bookies' lists - indeed, he's overtaken Corbyn as favourite to be the next PM - and although he's returned to popularity with the membership (he's way out in front in the polls down by conservativehome.com), this just demonstrates that bookies don't understand politics. Johnson's problem is that while he probably has plurality support among members, he probably doesn't have majority support, and, more urgently, MPs have consistently been making clear that there's no way he's going to be given the chance.
Reminder: Tory MPs vote on candidates in rounds, the loser of each round dropping out, until only two candidates remain, at which point the party membership votes for one of the two. So an MP needs more than a third of MPs to be sure of reaching the final ballot (though can make do with fewer in some circumstances, particularly where someone else has overwhelming support).
So who are the likely candidates?
JRM - similar position to Johnson. Might well win the final ballot, but currently doesn't look like getting there. He has too much baggage - his views on abortion, for instance - for MPs to risk him as leader unless there's no other option.
Michael Gove - nobody likes him, but if you want a prominent Leaver who is less divisive than BJ or JRM, Gove is the obvious candidate.
David Davis - if the brexiteers can't stomach Gove, Davis is next on the list. However, he was higher on the list, but he's been pretty awful as Brexit Secretary and I don't think he's impressed anyone or made friends. Maybe an emergency Brexit PM if May somehow loses her position before March?
Sajid Javid - has emerged as the consensus candidate of the people who AREN'T hardline brexiteers. He voted Remain, but hasn't been objectionable about it. He's young, and stays out of the spotlight, so would feel like a fresh change. It would certainly help the Party's image, given its problems with Islamophobia, to have a leader like Javid. He's also softened policy on immigration, and he could definitely hammer Labour on anti-Semitism - he's threatened to shut down any cultural institutions that attempted to boycott Israel, he's called for research into why Muslims rape children so much, and he's said that the moral burden of combating terrorism worldwide falls "uniquely" on Muslisms. He's also expanded stop-and-search, and defended the rights of extremists to harass women at abortion clinics; but he's introduced medicinal cannabis and apologised for the persecution of gay people by the police. He's a frequent speaker at the American Enterprise Institute, and is a big fan of Dick Cheney, but his two greatest heroes are Thatcher and Ayn Rand. A former banker, he's regarded as the most right-wing member of cabinet by traditional definitions, although by the current, Brexit-and-nationalism-dominated scale, he's a moderate. He's not messed up being Home Secretary, even though it's traditionally an impossible job.
Amber Rudd - as Javid's star has risen, hers has fallen, having been forced out as Home Secretary over Windrush. She also has a tiny majority, so choosing her would be a big risk. However, she's apparently actively campaigning, and presumably hasn't lost all the goodwill she once had.
Dominic Raab - nobody knows much about him, but he seems fairly solid, and as Brexit Secretary he'll be in the news a fair bit. If he does 'well' (i.e. looks firm), he might be able to overtake Gove and Davis as the sensible Brexiteer candidate, but at the moment he doesn't have enough profile.
Penny Mordaunt - former George W Bush official (Head of Foreign Press for both his presidential campaigns). Ideal CV: after her mother died and her father was diagnosed with cancer, she had to work as a magician's assistant to get money to care for her brother while still attending school. She's named after a frigate, and is herself in the Navy Reserves - her colleagues once made her give a speech on poultry welfare so that she'd have to repeatedly say 'cock' a lot in Parliament. Has nice hair. Wants the NHS to reorient toward offering more homeopathy. Very strong Leaver, but hasn't challenged the PM much since. Like Raab, she offers a very viable, sensible Brexiteer candidacy, and she's reportedly campaigning the hardest for the job behnd the scenes at the moment, but her profile is currently quite low (though, as a young woman, she'll be able to grab the spotlight much more easily than Raab could).
Jeremy Hunt - another homeopath. Manners of a drunk serpent and survival ability of a cockroach. Has no friends and is rubbish at everything, but apparently might be Prime Minister now because he has a name people recognise and he's somehow not managed to get sacked. He's not a frontrunner, but he'll be in the race if the people ahead of him cock up.
Ruth Davidson, the Scottish Conservative leader, who is actually popular, has ruled herself out because a) she's ineligible as she's not an MP, b) she has mental health problems that the position would exacerbate, and c) she doesn't want the job because it's a terrible job.
Re: British Politics Guide
Oh, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer has responded to the former Foreign Secretary's criticism of the government's policy on leaving the European Union by putting on a silly 'Boris' voice.
And I forgot the exciting bit! The Prime Minister has announced we're going to have a Festival of Brexit in a couple of years, showcasing how great Brexit is. It's an age-old tradition, and will complete the historic trilogy formed by the Great Exhibition of 1851 and the Festival of Britain of 1951, so a national Brexit Festival in 2022 is a no-brainer, and it's purely a coincidence that it'll be just a few months before the next scheduled election.
And I forgot the exciting bit! The Prime Minister has announced we're going to have a Festival of Brexit in a couple of years, showcasing how great Brexit is. It's an age-old tradition, and will complete the historic trilogy formed by the Great Exhibition of 1851 and the Festival of Britain of 1951, so a national Brexit Festival in 2022 is a no-brainer, and it's purely a coincidence that it'll be just a few months before the next scheduled election.
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Nortaneous
- Posts: 1529
- Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:29 am
Re: British Politics Guide
on a scale from one to oobekibekibekibekistanstan, at least he is aware that gaddafi decided to call libya something in the vicinity of a "jamahiriya"
Duaj teibohnggoe kyoe' quaqtoeq lucj lhaj k'yoejdej noeyn tucj.
K'yoejdaq fohm q'ujdoe duaj teibohnggoen dlehq lucj.
Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq.
K'yoejdaq fohm q'ujdoe duaj teibohnggoen dlehq lucj.
Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq. Teijp'vq.
Re: British Politics Guide
Can one of our resident Britbongs explain this exciting-sounding "Festival of Brexit"? It's apparently going to cost 120 million pounds, a sum which sounds like it would buy a lot of fireproof cladding.
dlory to gourd
https://wardoftheedgeloaves.tumblr.com
https://wardoftheedgeloaves.tumblr.com
Re: British Politics Guide
Perhaps relevantly, yesterday I encountered a copy of Metro in which someone had thoughtfully identified all the Conservatives by writing a well-known four-letter word across their foreheads.
And d) because she'd have to move to London, and she doesn't want to have to leave her child behind; and e) how many of the grassroots would accept a Scottish lesbian as their leader?Salmoneus wrote: ↑Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:28 amRuth Davidson, the Scottish Conservative leader, who is actually popular, has ruled herself out because a) she's ineligible as she's not an MP, b) she has mental health problems that the position would exacerbate, and c) she doesn't want the job because it's a terrible job.
Self-referential signatures are for people too boring to come up with more interesting alternatives.
Re: British Politics Guide
Or even a mile or so of a bridge to Ireland...
Self-referential signatures are for people too boring to come up with more interesting alternatives.
Re: British Politics Guide
I've no idea what a "Britbong" is, or why you'd begin a question by insulting anyone who chooses to answer.
But Brexival will be what it says on the tin.
But Brexival will be what it says on the tin.
Re: British Politics Guide
Me, a Britbong? Anyway, this article will tell you everything you need to know.
Self-referential signatures are for people too boring to come up with more interesting alternatives.
I've never come across this usage before.-
Kuchigakatai
- Posts: 1307
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2018 4:19 pm
Re: British Politics Guide
"-bong" refers to the sound of Big Ben.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9wWBjnaEck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9wWBjnaEck
Urban Dictionary says it's an insult, but it's usually not, it's just slang.
Re: British Politics Guide
No that's "dong". "Bong" is something you boil interestingly-scented water in.
Self-referential signatures are for people too boring to come up with more interesting alternatives.
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Kuchigakatai
- Posts: 1307
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2018 4:19 pm
Re: British Politics Guide
That always struck me as funny about this compound word, yes.
I've been going back and forth on whether I should post or link to the one or two copypasta that "britbong" alludes to. You can go find it yourselves, I don't wanna get banned. Well, it's not that inappropriate, but it doesn't suit the tone of our forum.